Feels like I am slacking

I haven't been in the mood to write much lately. I am still having such a hard time I just miss her so much. I am trying to remember all the funny things about her but I find myself breaking down crying more than laughing. I do want to get another mastiff - I am hoping by the end of the year we will have another. I know this sounds crazy but I am already worried about feeling like this again. Imagine worrying about loosing something I don't even have yet :o( One thing though that has been making me smile when I think of it is now that the pool is open I keep remembering how Britts would "sneak" in when she wasn't supposed to. Of course there were alot of times we would invite her in but I am talking about the times that she was only supposed to be outside to go to that bathroom and she would end up in the pool - which would drive me nuts cause now I would have to leave her outside til she dried off - not completely but dried off enough so I would have a big giant ball of soaking wet fur walking around my house shaking off on all the walls and the furniture. And believe me she always seemed to wait to get into the house before she would shake LOL! Anyway I keep seeing that face - that guilty face looking over trying to give me that look like she had no idea she wasn't supposed to be going in the pool LOL! the funniest thing too was how when she would go in she would try to sit but her butt would always float up behind her and she would try to steady herself but she could never make herself be able to actually just "sit" without floating :o) She really didn't go in too deep she would just go in enough to sit and the water would be almost up to her neck - though sometimes Scott would pull her in alittle further and she would turn and swim back to the side - she looked so funny like a giant cow swimming LOL! Oh how I miss her :o(